


Confrontation

by hoppa12345



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29599611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoppa12345/pseuds/hoppa12345
Summary: Set just after 9.02. What if Harvey and Donna's confrontation had gone a little differently? Warning: panic attack. Rated for that
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Kudos: 21





	Confrontation

_"You're just agreeing with Donna because you don't want her to be mad at you now that you're in a relationship."_

_Donna answered for him, incredulous. "Louis, that's ridiculous. Harvey would never side with me just because of that." When he didn't answer, she looked at him, but Harvey refused to meet Donna's eyes, instead boring a hole into Louis's._

**_SUITS_ **

"I'm so glad you're here," Harvey murmured affectionately, burying his face in Donna's neck and breathing in her scent. It was later that night, and the two had gone back to Harvey's apartment this time. "It's so nice to just finally be with you." When the redhead didn't respond, Harvey leaned back and studied her face. "Hey. Are you okay?"

"No." She took a deep breath. "Why wouldn't you say something if you disagreed with me? You've never made a habit of staying quiet before, and I don't see why you should start now."

Harvey tensed, his breathing quickening. "I would say something, it just wasn't worth it in front of Louis."

Donna gave him one of her piercing looks, and he felt like she could see right through him, and right through his words. "That's not true and we both know it. Harvey, if you try to avoid making me mad, it's just going to end up making me mad. Do you see?"

No, he didn't see. In fact, he was suddenly struggling to see anything. "S-so... you're mad right now?"

"Well if I'm being honest, yeah, I am. I can't believe you would just agree with me like that. It's not like you to be a pushover, Harvey."

"I'm not," he gritted out, trying to sound neutral and calm and not like he was struggling for oxygen. They sat in silence for a moment.

"Harvey, are you alright? You're sweating." Concern was evident in her voice, but Harvey hardly heard her. His heart pounded through his head and blood rushed in his ears, and more importantly, he was going to be sick.

"Fine." He rapidly got to his feet, half stumbling but trying to look composed. "Just need to go to the bathroom."

He made it to the toilet bowl just in time, his stomach heaving. He sat back, exhausted and dizzy. His heart was still racing, and by now his shirt was drenched. His chest felt tighter than he thought possible, and he just couldn't get his lungs to work. His chest burned, and his eyes burned, and now his throat burned too. He wondered - just briefly - if he was going to die right then and there, but his thoughts were interrupted by a flash of movement at the door he had forgotten to close in his haste.

"Harvey! Oh my God, are you alright?" He felt fresh panic sieze him. She wasn't supposed to see him like this. He couldn't breathe. He shook his head, indicating to her phone, which she clutched in her hand like a lifeline. "Okay, I'm dialling 911." He shook his head again - he couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe, and he certainly couldn't calm down while she was there.

"N-no," he forced out, and it expended every bit of breath and energy he had. He reached for the phone, and she quickly handed it to him. His hands shook as he searched her contacts, and it took him a painstakingly long time to coordinate his movements enough to find what he was looking for. The phone rang only a couple of times.

"Donna! Been a while! How are you?"

"M-Mike," Harvey breathed.

"Harvey? Is that you?" His former associate's tone changed from jovial to worried in an instant, and it made Harvey's stomach drop. He turned and threw up again. Donna grabbed the phone from him, put him on speakerphone, and said quickly,

"Mike, something's wrong with Harvey. He can't breathe, he's pale and sweaty, and shaking like a leaf. He called you instead of 911. What the hell is going on?"

There was a pause at the other end. "Harvey," he said, voice as gentle as Harvey had ever heard it. "It's another panic attack, right?" Harvey gulped for air and nodded. Donna stared at him, seemingly lost for words. "Hello?"

She snapped out of it. "Yes, Mike, still here. He nodded yes."

"Okay. Listen, Harvey. It's going to be okay. Just take deep breaths, alright? Donna, can you put him on?"

Donna nodded, eyeing Harvey worriedly. "She can't hear now, right?" Mike asked.

"R-right," Harvey said, fighting for breath.

"Alright, listen. I know what this is about. And she's never going to leave you, Harvey. I don't know what's happened to trigger this again, but she cares about you, okay?"

Mike stayed on in silence as Harvey slowly calmed down and his breathing evened out. Eventually he said quietly, "Thanks, Mike."

"Anytime. Call me if you need to talk to someone. I'll leave you to it, buddy."

**_SUITS_ **

Harvey looked up just in time to see Donna return with a glass of water, a towel and a fresh t-shirt. She helped him up, towelled him off, slipped the fresh t-shirt on, and handed him the glass. He followed her back out to the lounge room, embarrassment flooding him. "I'm sorry," he began, but she interuppted,

"No, I'm sorry. I should have known what was going on."

"What? How could you have?"

She smiled, but her eyes looked sad. "I've known you for 12 years, Harvey. I'm sorry I caused this."

"No, you didn't. It's my fault. If I could just keep control-"

She made a sudden movement towards him, and he flinched, still on edge. She opened her arms to show her intent, and carefully wrapped him in a hug. "No one could control that, not even you," she murmured. "Listen, I'm not going to leave you. You don't need to worry about making me mad."

He felt residual panic begin to flare up again, and he tried to fight it down. "I do need to worry. You don't get it. The stakes are higher now."

"I do get it, and it's okay. I'm not going to leave you, Harvey. Calm down, it's okay. I can feel your heart racing, and you just need to breathe, okay?"

He nodded, burying his face in her neck once again, for different reasons this time. "I'm sorry," he choked out, feeling another wave of emotion crash over him. What was wrong with him tonight?

"Hey, it's okay. It's not your fault." She tightened her grip. They stayed like that for a long moment.

"Donna?"

"Mm?"

"Do you... do you really want to be with someone as weak as me?" He held his breath, sure he knew the answer already.

"Harvey, that's ridiculous. You're the strongest man I've ever met." Without giving him time to argue, she continued, "Listen, how about we go lie down together? If you're lucky, I might even let you make out with me."

She pulled back, waited until he met her eyes, and winked at him. He couldn't help but smile at that. She had seen him at his worst, and still wanted to be there with him? Maybe everything would be alright after all.


End file.
